Another friend, Monica, often calls you to complain about her husband. It seems that he can never do anything right, and you fear that Monica has begun to become obsessed with what a «man of God» is the new and only pastor of your church. You suspect Monica might be a little in love. You worry about them. Could she consider divorce? Hi Holly. My name is Julie. My husband was also very addicted (morphine) and despite three weak points (for me!) he refused help. He became violent. In fact, the essence of continuing to consume without getting help and seeing how it affects your family is abusive.
We got angry. I sought spiritual guidance and care and all the pastors in our church agreed that it was time for me to take the children with me. We were no longer safe. After we separated, my husband encouraged divorce. He still hadn`t made any changes and paperwork became necessary as he was affecting children with his bad behavior. 🙁 Yes, this is a biblical reason for divorce and separation. You must do what you need to do to protect yourself and your children. Feel free to email me at julie@abuserecovery.org and know that you are not alone.
<3 God`s 3,500-year-old law is a better protection than many US states have today that allow child marriage. According to biblical law, the rapist could not divorce. And if he abused her, she had the right to file for divorce in court. And everyone knew it. Hi, I`m 64 years old, I`ve been living with my husband for 4 1/2 years before we decided it was time to do it right before God. I had rededicated my life to Christ and did not want to continue living in fornication. We got married in September 1992, we went through a lot, I gave my heart to this person. Out of the blue, he texted me and said he needed to talk to me about something really important: "He wants a divorce, which she received in the mail today.
I don`t know if it`s a sign from God to let go and move my own life, my children and grandchildren are devastated by it. He has been a deacon in the church for years, he is 61 years old and he has been enchanted by the devil thinking that the grass on the other side is greener. I am from Social Security and I still have to pay a mortgage that he was 3 months late with when he left. I am hurt to think that he would do me like this, I was faithful to him and I never stepped on him. He didn`t support me or make contact to see if I needed help, he retired, retired fully and offered me everything. I`m just devastated by what I should be doing spiritually. Please give me your wisdom of advice. The Bible does not say, «I hate divorce.» The translation of this verse from the ancient Hebrew language into English is incorrect. [2] The first English Bibles (Wycliffe, Geneva, the bishops and the Great Bible) did not translate it as «I hate divorce» or «God hates divorce». And neither do the three most recent translations of the Bible into English.
Meanwhile, a third friend, Mary Ann, is consumed by feelings of guilt about the past. After studying the Bible, she came to the conclusion that she divorced for selfish, not biblical, reasons. Because her ex-husband is remarried, Mary Ann cannot remedy this injustice. She has a terrible time hearing everything you tell her about God`s forgiveness. It was a shocking statement to the crowd and to the disciples. This meant they couldn`t divorce whenever they wanted – there had to be a legal reason. It also meant that virtually all divorced men or women were not really divorced because most of them had «a reason» for divorce. Luke and Matthew summed up the whole debate in one sentence: Every divorced person who has remarried has committed adultery (Matthew 5:32; Luke 16:18) because they were still married. The fact that they said «every divorcee» instead of «virtually all divorced people» is typically a Jewish exaggeration—like Mark, who said that «everyone» in Jerusalem came to be baptized by John (Mark 1:5). It may not be obvious to us, but their first readers clearly understood what they meant.
Law professors did not focus so much on the reasons for the divorce, but rather on whether a certificate had been properly completed. I bet they were also concerned about whether they were getting all the necessary fees/favors in advance. Christian counselor and author of The Emotional Destructive Marriage, Leslie Vernick, believes there is a strong biblical justification for letting people suffer the consequences of their sin (see 1 Corinthians 5:9–12; James 5:19–20; Galatians 6:7). While affirming the sanctity of marriage, Vernick explains his view that God`s security may be more important to God in all circumstances than absolute loyalty to one`s spouse (see 1 Samuel 18–31; Matthew 2:13–15; Luke 14:5). Vernick believes that «chronic hardness of heart» is a reason for divorce when there is «a grave problem of sin, a serious breakdown of marriage, a serious breach of trust. And there is no remorse or willingness to look at it and how it affected marriage and the relationship of trust. While some Bible interpreters may disagree with his conclusions, Vernick relies on Moses` permission for divorce, quoted by Jesus in Matthew 19:8, to support this view. Divorce for neglect included divorce for abuse because it was extreme neglect.
There was no doubt about this end of the spectrum of neglect, but what about the other end? What about abandonment, which was just a kind of passive neglect? It was an uncertain question, so Paul is dealing with it. He tells all believers not to leave their partners, and when they have done so, they must return (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). In the case of someone who is abandoned by an unbeliever – someone who does not obey the order to return – he says that the abandoned person is «no longer bound.» Bowling Green State University`s National Center for Family and Marriage Research reports that out of every 1,000 women married in 2014, 17.6 experienced divorce that year. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention bases its numbers on the total population, not just married people. They found that in 2014, there were 6.9 marriages per 1,000 members of the total population, while in the same year there were 3.2 divorces or annulments per 1,000 members of the total population. (It is important to note that the number of those who marry in a given year is generally not the same group that divorces.) Anyone who read this phrase in first-century Palestine would immediately think of the sentence at the end of all Jewish and Roman divorce certificates: «You are free to marry whomever you want.» This whole passage is about breaking promises. And the God-hatred of divorce focuses on those who break the marriage contract by hurting and acting maliciously. While the Bible`s statements about divorce don`t completely agree on all the details, it`s «pretty clear that Jesus doesn`t approve of divorce,» Johnson adds. Yet some pastors have found this teaching difficult to accept because it seems so impractical. In some situations, even cruel. This suggests that there can be no divorce for physical or emotional abuse, and Paul even seems to forbid separation (1 Corinthians 7:10).
Continue to explore these difficult topics by exploring real-life stories of grief, divorce, healing, and faithfulness to God. Within the Church, we see different reactions to difficult marital struggles. Some may advise divorce too hastily, advise couples to give up the difficult ups and downs that are part of every marriage, and essentially ignore the high value the Bible places on the obligation of marriage. In the meantime, others may respond with legalism and pressure other Christians to remain in clearly destructive and insecure marriages. «If a man takes a woman and marries her, if she finds no pleasure in his eyes because he has found in her an indecency, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in his hand and sends her out of his house, and she goes out of his house, and when she goes and becomes the wife of another man, and he hates her, and writes her a certificate of divorce, and presses it in his hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter dies, who has taken her as his wife, then her former husband, who has sent her away, must not take her again as a wife after she has been polluted, for it is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land which Jehovah your God gives you as an inheritance. «If a man has just married, he must not go out with the army or be held responsible for any other public duty.